An open letter to Yankee fans (the dumb ones)

Dear denizens of Yankee Universe (I hope I get the address right),

We, as Red Sox fans, recognize that the team is playing awful, horrible, putrid, baseball, and are in the midst of an epic collapse. And if the team fails to make the playoffs, it will be because of the loud sucking sound coming from Fenway park, not from the vacuum that is between your ears (you, the dumb Yankee fans). The goal of the regular season is to make the playoffs, and in fact, by winning the AL East, and taking the last three from Tampa, your beloved New York Yankees have done the Red Sox a huge favor, as we have actually increased our Wild Card lead, despite losing 3 of 4 to the vaunted Fighting Showalters. So to reiterate, we are quiet because our team sucks, not because we're dismayed about the Yankees being so friggin' awesome- we're actually ecstatic that they've won these last three. Thanks, morons, and congratulations on being literate. :)

Also, 'ecstatic' means you're feeling overwhelming happiness, and 'literate' means you must not be a true Yankee fan, as you know how to read.

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