A glimpse into...

Is this what I wanted?
To be alone, scrawling frantic thoughts onto the darkness?
Doesn't matter now, wouldn't have mattered no matter what.
These were choices made in different times, the present is merely a consequence of
the past.
But they're all right, and it's alright, about how you won.
If I had a choice I'd have wanted it this way anyhow,
or at least I like to believe.
In way it's true too, the first time you say I love you, the first time you really mean the words,
"I love you."
Well, that's it really, every moment from there on out are your great expectations of what love should be,
no matter how hard we fall, or how easy you fly away,
it all goes from there.
You see, everything, for everyone, no matter who you are, is new at least once, some things are new a million times over,
this is certainly true for the lucky ones, who never lose that
"holy curiosity."
And that just might be me, but I'm not really sure, I kind of always liked to believe I was terribly jaded,
though I suspect I'm something much further along towards the other end of the spectrum.
Every rainbow, every sundown, every single breath in cold October is a new thing to me.
But I made that promise, and that was all I wanted, back then it was never too late
to start over.
Now I see it was already too late to stop it all, the inevitable things we resign ourselves to.
Never really knowing why, but that's the human condition, these feelings, these great masses of confusion which alternately
give cause for euphoria and in the same instant make the hurt burst.
But that's ok, this is all ok.
It's just the price we pay for living, the pain is the cost of admission, if we are to enjoy
happiness.
Into every life for the sunshine a little rain must fall,
this is the human condition.